Travel Diary #33 : Does anybody know what they’re doing ?

To all people in their 20s - does anybody know what they’re doing ?

I want to share reflections, this time, rather than the classic *been there, done that, look how cool this place looks*, a more vulnerable but meaningful approach.

This past week hasn’t been very comfortable. Backpacking is never very comfortable anyway. From hostel beds to your financial situation, everything constantly pushes you out of your comfort zone. And yet, the feeling of learning and growing is so worth the cost. I slowly became addicted to the discomfort, it keeps me alive. Or maybe I'm allergic to stability, I can’t tell. A lot of indecision and questioning animated my nights and it has been mentally draining.

Refusing the conventional path (to look for a 9-to-5 office job in France right after graduating and settle down in a big city) make me feel like I have to prove to the world that I am successful in some other way.

I’m glad to have escaped from a traditional model to explore other options : travel, meet new people everyday, take risks, fail sometimes, learn a lot about myself and create a life which suits me better little by little.

However, freeing yourself from society’s standards implies doubts, mistakes and instability. I’ve never been used to that much freedom, with so many possibilities, and to be honest, I don't know where to start. Where to go next ? What to do ? How am I supposed to reach the career I dream about ? What the hell is going on in the world right now ? But after talking to a friend about it, I realized that no one truly knows what they’re doing - specially in the middle of a pandemic - and that’s OK.

If there is one thing I’ve learned this week, it's that there’s no “wrong” move. The most important thing is to make a move. Any move. Yesterday, I read an inspiring quote in a newsletter :

« Whenever you’re trapped in the hell of indecision, do something about it as quickly as possible. Find a way to take a tangible, real action and you’ll be rewarded with priceless feedback to inform your next step ».

That's to say, I took action and booked a ride to Cadiz. This city, on the Mediterranean coast, will bring me closer to the sea and to Maghreb - a place that I have always dreamed of going. I will be there for one week, and that’s all I know for now.

Here was my quick reminder that we all experience doubts. Let’s stay optimistic and hopefully it will all make sense one day ! :)